[CaliSurfDude]

If you’ve dated Asian women, you’ve probably hit culture shock: family involvement, money views, fast marriage talk. What was the biggest “wait, people really do this?” moment you had while dating Asian women?

17

[CarolinaGent]

My biggest shock was how fast the talk went to marriage and kids. I was still in “let’s get to know each other” mode and her family already wanted to know my long term plan and income.

14

[BrooklynJoe]

The way she involved her parents in everything threw me off at first. In my head dating is two people, for her it was more like “me plus my family’s opinion.” Took time but I got used to it.

9

[BayAreaDev]

I wasn’t ready for how direct some Asian women are about money. Questions about salary, savings and future house plans popped up way earlier than in US dating, but it wasn’t rude to her, just practical.

15

[FloridaNomad]

The “saving face” thing confused me at first. She didn’t like arguing in public or even in front of friends, everything serious had to be handled in private to not embarrass anyone.

28

[ChiTownSingle]

Biggest surprise was how much she supported her parents financially and how normal that was. Part of her paycheck going home every month was non negotiable and I had to factor that into future plans.

17

[SuburbanSam]

The family involvement hit me like a wall. Third date with a woman from the Philippines and her sister was texting her throughout. By the second month her mother had already asked what my salary was. Not in a rude way — it was just completely normal to them. I had to completely reset my expectations.

29

[BeachTownLuke]

Indirect communication nearly broke me. I’d ask a Japanese woman directly how she felt and get a smile and a subject change. Back home that would mean she’s not interested. There it might mean the opposite. I wasted months misreading signals before a local guy explained it to me.

13

[NYFinanceBro]

The hardest part was understanding that ‘yes’ doesn’t always mean yes. In Thai culture especially, saying no directly is uncomfortable, so you get soft yeses that mean no, or enthusiastic agreement that quietly disappears. Once I understood that, I stopped feeling confused and started paying attention to actions instead of words.

13

[Author]

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