[Milla Bleakley]

Family involvement, marriage expectations, financial topics… What shocked you the most at the beginning?

40

[LoneStarMike]

For me the biggest shock was how fast things went from “we’re dating” to “so when are you thinking about marriage?” Her parents didn’t see me as a “boyfriend,” more like “potential husband” from day one. Also, meeting the parents wasn’t a casual thing – it was basically a mini-interview about my job, future plans, and whether I’m stable enough.

23

[SeattleCoder]

Family involvement was huge. I’m used to pretty independent dating in the US, but with her it was like the whole family was slightly in the relationship too. Mom texting her during our dates, aunt asking when we’ll visit, etc. Not in a bad way, just way more connected than I expected.

20

[PhillyGuy24]

Money talk came way earlier than I was ready for. Stuff like “Do you own or rent?”, “How much do you save?”, “Would you buy a place in the future?” In my culture that’s super private at the start, but for her it was just practical info for long-term compatibility. Took a while to not take it as rude.

9

[AustinVibes]

One thing that surprised me: how much she helped her parents financially and how normal that was. Part of her paycheck went back home every month and it wasn’t negotiable. When we talked about living together, that support for her family was treated like a fixed expense, same level as rent.

26

[DenverDave]

The “timeline pressure” was the hardest. Her parents were worried she was getting “too old” for marriage at like 27–28, so there was this constant background noise of “Are you serious? When wedding? When kids?” Once I understood that they weren’t attacking me personally but reacting to social pressure they feel, it got easier to handle.

9

[Author]

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