[SilentDrew]

There’s a stereotype about Japanese women who are attracted to foreigners for novelty rather than genuine interest. Have you experienced this? How do you tell the difference when you’re in early stages of dating?

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[BostonHistoryNerd]

Real interest shows up in details. She remembers what you mentioned two weeks ago. She asks follow-up questions about your life. She introduces you to her friends. The fetishization type is usually more interested in the idea of a foreign boyfriend than in the actual person in front of her.

28

[DenverTrailRunner]

I asked my girlfriend directly early on — she was surprised but appreciated it. She’d dated a foreign guy before who turned out to be a fetish for her, and she was self-aware enough to know she needed to check herself. Directness can work in Japan, but you have to frame it gently.

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[Author]

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